Coach's Corner

Gift-giving: Obligation or Delight?

Merry Christmas!! Tis the season to deck halls, sing carols, and be jolly! … and by ‘jolly’ I mean like Santa … and by ‘like Santa’ I mean scrambling around the world to get everyone the gift that will make them dance around the Christmas tree with complete abandon – delight on their face – clutching the highly desirable item to their chest – the very thing that they wished for! The present they so desperately wanted that they’ve been hounding you for months on end to the point where you have no choice but to …

Woah, wait a minute, that’s not right. Things took a turn for the worse somewhere around ‘delight’ … let’s try that again.

Have you ever witnessed the frantic Christmas shopping of a chronic procrastinator?  Gift purchasing all-too-suddenly becomes a December 23rd visit to Insanity-ville via the local mall. It should be no surprise that the mad scramble for passable gifts (that may or may not have been thoughtfully considered for a specific recipient) looses its potential as an exercise of peace and goodwill in all the hustle and bustle. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, after all, if you were there on December 23rd to witness it … you may very well be a chronic procrastinator yourself! Either way, it’s obviously no fun.

So, why give gifts at all? Well, whether we buy or make them, there’s definitely a cultural expectation here, which means that our gifts are often wrapped in obligation. But, let’s take a step back from that and ask – why do we even give in the first place?

We give to express love, of course! Not just an expression of love because you’re assured of receiving love in return, but the most genuine kind of love that loves wholly, regardless of what the response is. That’s why we wrack our brain for the ‘perfect gift’. We twist our minds into awkward shapes as we consider what that special someone would appreciate. We don’t consider ‘what I want them to have’, but instead ‘what they would appreciate’. Not because we have to, but because we want to express love.

If we’re giving out of a sense of obligation, love is removed from the equation.

That’s why, when we’re considering a gift for someone, we ask ourselves, “What will show this person that I love them?”

And what is love? Love is sacrifice – to truly want God’s best for them. Thoughtful gift-giving includes considering what will genuinely benefit the recipient. Maybe even a need as opposed to a want. (Mom, this is not license to get me more socks. Though, if you do get me socks, I will recognize them as a sweet expression of love from my darling mother.)

So, this Christmas, I’m going to give as I’ve done in years past, out of an expression of love. And I’m going to receive gifts with appreciation for the gift giver. I may not even like the gift, but ‘it’s the thought that counts’ and when that thought and intention is to express love, well … it’s delight-full.

I thank God for the chance to delight in the expression of love – to delight in the person that love has been expressed through – and, most of all, to delight in the God that loved us first and fully so that we have something precious to give away. May God bless you as you give for the sake of delight this Christmas!

Posted December 01, 2009